The last couple of weeks have become noticeable for the increasing amount of time I’m thinking about the Yukon River Quest. My initial thoughts of the race taking 40hrs have gone out of the window and I’m now faced with the prospect of kayaking for 100hrs at least. I’ve not been able to get in the kayak as much as I’d like, meaning my technique hasn’t shifted on since Latvia, this worries me.
As much as I’m concerned that all my spare thoughts are being taken up with how to kayak for 100hrs, rapids, waves, cold and bears. It does give me more confidence, the more I can run through these scenarios and feelings in my head the better prepared I’ll be on the water as my brain will have touched on these experiences, meaning I can think more rationally and get through them (that’s the thinking anyhow). I began this adventure thinking I’d be paddling and smiling the whole way along. I think this will still be the case, but I’m now acutely aware that there will be times when I’m going to have to scratch at the lowest depths to drag me out of the feelings of: low morale, despair and loneliness. Each time I get through this, it’ll give me that extra belief to paddle on to the finish.
I’m scared I won’t finish, which is what I’m finding hardest at the moment. But I can’t think like this. I’ll take the race in little stages, staying immensely positive, and when it goes wrong: I’ll pick myself up, smile and laugh about it and carry on paddling. I will finish this race one way or the other.
14 days till I begin the race and the excitement and nervousness is beginning to build. I have no idea how this will finish.